FAGGOT

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13 October 2021
By James Mounsey (he/him)

“Faggot, often shortened to fag, is a usually pejorative term used primarily to refer to gay men and boys”

Last weekend I went back to my hometown where I currently have a care job looking after young people with disabilities. When walking with one of the young people I care for in the mid-afternoon, along the canal I used to walk along every day to school, a young teen rode past and shouted “Faggot” at me. I immediately looked at the young person who I was with and thankfully he hadn’t heard the comment, even though plenty of passers-by had, and quickly left the scene with a look of embarrassment and relief that it wasn’t aimed at them. My relief quickly turned to shock. The anger on this young man’s face as he said this word showed to everyone how much he hated my presence in this space, and he meant it. To see this attitude in a boy, who probably is in the same class as my younger sister, cast a huge sadness over me. In that moment I wanted to shout back and confront this boy. I have always been a believer of confronting issues especially if it hurts yourself or others but my role as a career came first and I could not put him in a confrontational situation. However this left me incredibly vulnerable, like the words had pierced my skin and I was left to bleed out. I really wish someone could have helped. This vulnerability and panic raced through my body, “was it my blonde hair, how long my nails are, the flared jeans” that had given the game away and allowed me to be put under attack? For the rest of the walk, it played in my head over and over. My fists were tight. My body was tense, and I began to sweat. When I got back, I told my boss what had happened. She told me that three days before her daughter (who is a lesbian) had received the same kind of verbal abuse from three boys when she was walking the dog. They mocked her appearance and kept saying “go on, give us a smile”. They had seen someone different and honed in on it.

If you’re still reading your probably not a homophobic bigot (yessss!). However, this boy was at least my age or younger. The poor excuse, “he’s of another generation” does not apply (nor is that even an excuse). This makes me think how many times people like him have shown homophobic behaviour, openly, on this level and other people have chosen to ignore it. I hope you take away from this situation. I urge you to take away from this situation that your voice matters. Call out abuse and wrongdoing when you see it! I understand the difficulty of calling out family members or friends, but these conversations start at home and help educate people, making them understand that what they say or do may be hurting someone whether they mean it or not.

If you have been in a similar situation or one like it involving homophobia, my advice to you is don’t suffer in silence and don’t think you’re alone. The only positive to come from this situation is that, when I told people about what had happened, I was reminded how loved I am and how the majority of people are kind and tolerant. You are loved too! Regardless of who you are.